Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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