so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
