wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
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