also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
