i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
