What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
she peed on how many people?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
