I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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