Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
i think i just lost a toe
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Just puked most of my soul out..
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
