My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
