Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
