I smell stomach acid.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
