I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I need moral support for this bender
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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