that's an acceptable place to lick
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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