i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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