i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
