I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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