I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
is it fun? or sober?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
