Kiss
Puke
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
