i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
