the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Reggie can tackle my bush.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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