on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
its not stalking. its research.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
