Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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