How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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