Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
