I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize