I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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