You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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