I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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