My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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