Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Randomize
