I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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