I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
babies were throwing up all over the place
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
