Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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