If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
