we made out on top of his cat.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
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