i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
