let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize