I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
