you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Randomize
