so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
