Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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