I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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