you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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