What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
