i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
and i looked up. we had an audience...
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize