just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
