I think I won the penis lottery.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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