I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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