I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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