"it" just moved
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Randomize
