WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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