I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
