I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
