Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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