i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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