I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
