OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
