East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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